Teenagers should be banned from dating

I took out some old diaries to read a few pages to my daughter, who is learning how to start one. I was so fucktarded at 18. I'm still laughing my ass off at this:

June 23, 1991
I met a boy named James and his friend, Jason today.... James and I are boyfriend and girlfriend now. I feel in love.... I hope this turns into something good. If not, I'll die inside forever!!!

June 25, 1991
Well, I broke up with James today because, personally, I think the boy has problems.... I wish Jason would ask me out. I want to die.

June 27, 1991
I'm so happy! Jason finally asked me out yesterday!

July 3, 1991
I'm so happy! Jason thinks we should get married!.... I know Jason will love me forever!

August 8, 1991
I'm so scared! Jason's mom thinks I'm a witch because I have a cockatoo and my truck is black! We have to pretend to be broken up so his mom will leave us alone. He's pretending to like a girl down the street from his house to convince her. If we break up for real, I'll die!

September 7, 1991
I understand love like I understand the purpose of life - neither makes any sense to me at all!

September 14, 1991
I can't understand Jason. I don't know if I really want to. If you love something, set it free...

September 16, 1991
I asked Jason if he loves me. He said yes but he doesn't say it... I think he can teach me what love really is.

September 17, 1991
I just broke up with Jason. God, if you ask me, is a terrible matchmaker!

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I will smack my kid if she ever gets this stupid!