Zoosk and Dr. Phil

While hubby and I were watching TV, old Psych reruns, I was playing on the iPad. He asked what I was doing. I told him, "Looking up a boyfriend because you're so damned boring."

He said, "Try Zoosk."

I said, "They have rules against married people lying about being single."

He said, "Christian Mingle. com" because we saw an episode of Dr. Phil where the mother-in-law signed her married son up on that site so he could cheat on his wife. 

I said, "I have enough christian to deal with being married to a catholic." 

He said, "Try something about not getting your ass kicked for looking it up in the first place." 

I said, "They don't have a site for what to do with your free time after you've gotten away with murdering that asshole." 

While we were "joking around", I really was looking up "companion for a married woman"... just to "joke around." 

I found an ad by a woman that read, "Single woman looking for a VERY FERTILE male. No marriage or serious commitment required." 

I read it to hubby and he says, "Hey, it would be funny if after 6 months with a guy, he says, 'Oh shit, I forgot that I got a vasectomy. Oops." 

The hilarity continued as I found more such freakish ads. And just now, he brings home a "sweet pepper" that's shaped like a dick and tells me to taste it. I do what any good woman would do in a situation like this. I lick it like a dick and say, "And then God gave woman a way to survive without man!" 

Life is good.