I decided yesterday that I'll be writing an autobiography when I'm done with my crime novel. Fate was listening in on my conversation with a friend about this and decided I should have some humor in it because I checked mail at lunch and this happened:
I got an e-mail from an old gamer friend who at one time was helping me with my art program issues. (I wanted to be able to open Corel files in my new iMac but couldn't afford the $500 tag for the iMac version.) So anyway, we conversed off and on for a few months about art, some games we had in common, and bullshit every day things. Last summer, he left on a deployment (Merchant Marines) and we lost touch. Honestly, that was fine with me because I didn't care hide nor hair about anything other than help with my art program.
5 months later, out of the blue, he messaged me. I did the whole, "Oh, wow! How have you been?" pretend to have missed him to be polite thing.
His response? He sends me a picture of his dick and says he's getting a divorce, he's lonely, and was thinking of taking things between us to the next level. Because the next logical step after technical talk about art and gaming platforms is obviously cock shots.
I messaged him back that as interesting as he may think that was going to be, it was a total turn off (not that he has anything to be ashamed of but guys, seriously, that is so far away from attractive behavior that you may as well keep a well-oiled sock nearby for life).
He messages me back, "I apologize but aren't you going to return the favor?"
Knee jerk reaction? I had this whole thing planned. I was going to rip his ass a new one for just suddenly doing that to me. Then, I thought about it and figured, Why not?
So.. I sent him a picture of my husband.
He writes back, "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"
I wrote back, "You asked for me to return the favor. You sent me a photo of your dick so I sent you a photo of mine."
He wrote back that he is blocking me and that I'm a cold bitch. Some people just have no sense of humor.
I got an e-mail from an old gamer friend who at one time was helping me with my art program issues. (I wanted to be able to open Corel files in my new iMac but couldn't afford the $500 tag for the iMac version.) So anyway, we conversed off and on for a few months about art, some games we had in common, and bullshit every day things. Last summer, he left on a deployment (Merchant Marines) and we lost touch. Honestly, that was fine with me because I didn't care hide nor hair about anything other than help with my art program.
5 months later, out of the blue, he messaged me. I did the whole, "Oh, wow! How have you been?" pretend to have missed him to be polite thing.
His response? He sends me a picture of his dick and says he's getting a divorce, he's lonely, and was thinking of taking things between us to the next level. Because the next logical step after technical talk about art and gaming platforms is obviously cock shots.
I messaged him back that as interesting as he may think that was going to be, it was a total turn off (not that he has anything to be ashamed of but guys, seriously, that is so far away from attractive behavior that you may as well keep a well-oiled sock nearby for life).
He messages me back, "I apologize but aren't you going to return the favor?"
Knee jerk reaction? I had this whole thing planned. I was going to rip his ass a new one for just suddenly doing that to me. Then, I thought about it and figured, Why not?
So.. I sent him a picture of my husband.
He writes back, "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"
I wrote back, "You asked for me to return the favor. You sent me a photo of your dick so I sent you a photo of mine."
He wrote back that he is blocking me and that I'm a cold bitch. Some people just have no sense of humor.
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