You might be a Cop if.....

Cop Humor · 

• You Might Be a Cop if...
  
  *People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.
  *Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery in progress at shift change.
  *You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
  *You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
  *You believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.
  *You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over .15
  *You walk into places and people think it's THE MOST HILARIOUS thing to grab an acquaintance and shout, "They've come to get you...".
  *You have the bladder capacity of five people
  *You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal with your spouse
  *You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see
  *You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person
  *You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is QUIET around here"
  *You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick
  *You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably
  *You believe irritable bowel syndrome is normal and happens to everybody
  *You think caffeine should be available in I.V. and inhaler form
  *You can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the type of sirens
  *You have a CRAZY ex-wife/husband(s)
  *You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car
  *You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium salt-lick
  *While off duty sitting at a red light, you look for skid marks in the intersection and determine the point of impact